If they are I'm beyond caring.

Swatting annoyances like so many gnats.

I'm at that state of tired where I'm having some tremendous ideas but when I try to flesh them out, my brain just makes a flatulent noise and keels over.

Cslling it Canola was a wise branding move. Is it sad that I actually knew what that was?

//

It's not fair to struggle to 5:00pm and rush home only to have your body switch to low battery mode the second you arrive.

The internet is often unkind to ornithologists

Not if it's the MAF sensor.

//

I almost forgot how much fun it was to feign total ignorance for a sales drone.

Dear sales drone,

The more buzzwords you spew, the longer I string you along before I say, "Nope", and hang up.

I love how people ask me questions like, "What's ISAM Error 101 mean", like I remember 200 plus error codes from the DB backend this company used for it's MSDOS releases.

"ISAM Error 101 means STOP RUNNING YOUR COMPANY ON A COMPUTER THAT IS OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE"

That's the correct answer to the question, actually. I just have to frame it with a little diplomacy.